Whirlwind of frenzy

Ok, friends and family, we have confirmation.  By the grace of God, we will have a little baby in November!  How ridiculous that I jinxed myself by saying and writing, “I’m not nauseous and I don’t have ‘morning sickness’.  I’m tired, but I don’t feel excessively tired.”  I’m an idiot.  Seriously.  Now, “pregnancy = not so much fun”.  Turns out that I am sick most of the time.  Some “morning sickness” but mostly, “all day sickness”, especially if I don’t eat every two hours.  I feel like I’m in the Little Shop of Horrors and my body is just constantly nagging, “Feeeed me”.  AND I am exhausted- ugh.  Work is so exhausting too.  I can’t imagine working in 7 months carrying around an extra 35 pounds.  I need a nap just thinking about it.

Well, we went to our first prenatal appointment on Monday, April 7th, after taking the red-eye in from San Francisco and arriving at 7 am to Dulles.  We were tired!!  As a side note, I don’t recommend the red-eye.  It is a lot harder to sleep sitting up on a stuffy airplane than you would think, especially when that is supposed to be your supportive night’s sleep.  But, about the appointment…  my doctor was dry and abrupt and just plain mean.  I did not like her at all.  She made me cry.  So, our next appointment in three weeks will be with a different doctor.  We also have some Nurse Midwives which I may choose instead, so I don’t face a chance of Doctor Meany delivering our baby.  We’ll see.  Doctor Meany said that the baby was actully only 7 weeks, instead of 8 and that my due date is November 25th.  She is way off.  I am a nurse and I know how to calculate a due date, especially my own.  I don’t agree with her.  So, for my friends and family, the current age of the baby is 9 weeks and the due date is November 14th!  I’ll be more apt to adjust the due date after my next appointment with a competent physician.

Now, for the baby!  This week the baby is about one inch or 2.5 cm from crown to rump, or about the size of a medium green olive!  Our baby has arms and legs and fingers and toes and eyelids and ears and aortic and pulmonary valves.  Our baby will start moving this week.  On our ultrasound last week, we heard the heartbeat at a rate of 146 beats per minute.  Everything seems to be progressing well, our next appointment is the first week of May.  Hopefully, I won’t be sick by then. 

We are prego!!!  Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant.  I am posting this as private until we notify the appropriate family members.  Our first “confirmation” appointment is Monday, April 7th.  My best guess is that my due date will be November 14th.  It is very exciting, but I wasn’t quite expecting the mild anxiety that accompanies that extra pink line.  Because I’m a nurse and a hypochondriac, I am aware of every ping and twinge and ache in my body and I’m sure at times I have an ectopic or missed miscarriage.  Enough about that though, because when I post this, I will have “confirmation”.  Until then, percentages and statistics swirl in my head.

As far as my pregnancy goes, I have hardly any symptoms that people talk about.  I’m not nauseous and I don’t have “morning sickness”.  I’m tired, but I don’t feel excessively tired.  This all adds to my concern, so it is not necessarily a blessing.  On the other hand, if I were sick all of the time, I would be sure that something was wrong and that I wasn’t getting enough nutrients, etc- that’s just me.  I do have weird symptoms that nobody really talks about.  First of all, I am so hot.  I have recently broken out the “summer bedroom fan”.  I toss and turn and don’t sleep well at all.  I’m tired following those days.  My boobs hurt a little bit, I guess that’s ’cause there is so little to hurt :)  And nose bleeds have started in the last couple of days, I guess due to the increased blood volume.  I did have a positive symptom today though- heartburn!  I devoured (which is another symptom- I have an insatiable appetite) a big breakfast at work and ughhh… that is not what I should be doing.  Just say no to OJ.

The actually baby part is the best and most exciting part.  If my pregnancy is progressing correctly- our baby is 4 to 5 mm from head to rump and by the end of the week, he/she will be about 1/2 an inch!  The baby’s brain is already growing and developing and the heart has divided into right and left chambers!  The baby already has bronchi and the eyes and nostrils are developing.  Our baby already has a pancreas and an appendix!  That is so crazy cool

As you can tell, I am very excited!  We told my parents last night because I am the worst secret keeper.  We were talking about Matt flying on Southwest to go to Detroit, and I said, “Well, if we fly anywhere this summer, it’ll have to be first class, because I’ll be huge”.  My parents were ecstatic of course, and with my sister only being 2 weeks ahead of me, they’ll have their first two grandchildren between Halloween and Thanksgiving this year!  Well, I’ll write more after my appointment :)  Happy days! 

I am love, love, lovin’ work. Surprised?  Me too.  It’s going really well.  The last couple of weeks, I’ve been following around my preceptor and he’s allowed me to conquer a few of the skills that I was weary of accomplishing for the first time.  I attempted to insert an IV on a patient and failed miserably, but I think I’ll probably be pretty good at it one day.  I’ve had 5 patients so far, all under the age of 60, all in critical care due to heart disease.  I have always had empathy, but on this unit, it tends to lean toward sympathy for the families.  It is so sad, but rewarding too.  I am able to educate the families (and the patients that are conscious) about the different aspects of their care that concern them, i.e. “What do all of those numbers on the monitor mean?” and “Why is the alarm going off?” It’s pretty cool.  I lucked out with an amazing preceptor and there is a ton of support staff constantly mentoring and following up with me about how things are.  It’s really pretty amazing.  I also get to wear all the cute scrubs I bought, which is a bonus, because going to work in my pajamas is my dream and I have arrived! 

Well, we were able to take a few days before I start work on Feb 18th.  We decided to visit our good friends, Joey & Nadiya, in Boulder, Colorado.  We had an awesome time…. once we got there!  Our itinerary included leaving BWI on Wednesday afternoon, with a 45 minute layover at Chicago Midway before finally arriving at Denver International Airport.  That was the plan anyway…

After a trip to Starbucks for a venti hazelnut diuretic no-foam latte, I picked up my hard-working husband from his place of work in Bethesda at 10:30 am (he just had to get in those 4 hours of work before leaving) Our flight was due to leave at 1:20 pm.  Matt took the long way through Bethesda during the busy lunch rush, and we were finally headed to the airport, with little time to spare. 

Joey had asked that I pick up a backpack from his parents’ house and bring it with.  During our drive to the airport, I glanced through to remove any questionable items that would be a problem for the security check…. I only had to leave behind three-quarters of the items… a cologne set containing approximately 60 ounces of liquid, a grooming set containing 3 pairs of scissors, a mystery liquid that could have very well been liquid marijuana, and a back rubber/hair brush thing that security would have surely mistook as a torture device.  Besides those items, the backpack was clear for take-off. 

We discussed parking strategies before settling on long term $8/day parking, which required a shuttle, but time was on our side.  We parked and ran to the shuttle bus with luggage in tow, missed the shuttle by half a minute and waited 14 more before finally boarding the shuttle and heading to the terminal.  Upon arrival to the terminal, we checked the board to find our flight- on time.  Bathroom break.  This gave us 45 minutes to get through security and find our gate.  After a brief spat about checking our bags, I finally gave in to toting all of our belongings all over the airport and on to the plane as carry-ons.  This would ultimately become the best idea Matt had during the whole trip.  Security was a piece of cake, aside from being herded through like cattle, without belts, shoes, liquids and weapons; pants falling down, slipping on socks, we finally took a deep breath and redressed.  We arrived to our gate- on time 20 minutes to go.  Bathroom break.  Overhead speaker informs us that our flight will be delayed by an hour, which would effectively cause us to possibly miss our connecting flight to Denver.  “Oh well” we concur, “we’re on vacation”.  After two more trips to the bathroom, we are finally allowed to board. 

“We have a full flight to Chicago today, no seat will be spared”.  Southwest has this thing where you can print your boarding passes on-line and depending on your position, A1- A60, B1-B60, etc, the timeliness of printing your boarding pass determines your position for boarding the plane.  Somehow, I had gotten A17 and Matt was B47, alas I had to board and attempt to save a seat so we could sit together.  I plopped down in a middle seat and covered Matt’s seat with my crap.  As the plane filled, I got at least one scowl and a loud sigh from a distraught business man when I didn’t offer up my empty aisle seat.  I had to pee again. In sight was my prince charming though, here to save me from socially-unacceptable-seat-saving-hell.  We buckled in and set sail for Chicago.   Ahhhh… finally, we’re headed to beautiful Colorado!

About an hour and 20 minutes into the trip, the plane takes a sharp right turn.  I look over to my husband who is wide-eyed and biting his lip; Something I didn’t know Matt suddenly occurs to me… he’s afraid of flying!  As I reach for his hand, the pilot voice bellows over the loud speaker, “Well folks, we are headed BACK to Baltimore”…  Whaaaaaa?  He continues to inform us of the idiosyncrasies of mixing snow with runways and crashing and dying, blah, blah, sorry, blah.  “Oh well”, we again concur, “we’re on vacation”.  That soothing voice repeats over and over in my mind… ”Ding! you are free to move about the country (and move about, and move about, and return home)”.  It’s kind of like a cruise to nowhere, but with bad food (seriously though, they actually give out salami sticks now, it can’t get much worse than salami sticks).  An hour after the announcement that our flight had been turned around, Matt is applying his imaginary foot-brake and holding the seat in front of him as he lands the plane in his head.  “Welcome back to Baltimore!”  cheerfully exclaimed the pilot just before giving us the current outside temperature- how kind.  He continues his sentence by informing us that, “although Midway is shut down, we are not cancelling this flight, we are merely delaying this flight”.  This is the $200 statement.  He should have said, “We here at Southwest intend to delay cancelling this flight until you’ve secured a hotel on your own dime.  Have a nice day!”

“Oh well”, we concur, “we’re on vacation!”

We de-plane and head back to the gate where two (2!) customer service agents are preparing to assist us and 140 other passengers with alternate flight arrangements.  I was able to reach a phone representative in a relatively short time-frame.  “No flights to Denver tonight… how about tomorrow morning at 8:15 am?”  Well, I think the phrase is “take it with a grain of salt”- at least it was a direct flight.  What were they going to do, fly us out in a private jet?  So, we collected our four-50 lb. carry-ons and began our jaunt back through the airport.

Arriving outside, my wonderful husband was accosted by a “private” driver who would take us to the Inner Harbor for $30.  Matt insisted that we go with this stranger in his unmarked sedan.  I insisted that he’d lost his mind.  30 bucks!  that’s ridiculous.  We’ll get a cab.  The cab stand guy told us $35 to the Inner Harbor.  Matt insisted that we take the cab.  I insisted that he’d lost his mind.  We ran down to the shuttle bus, and returned to our car, which was still warm, because we had only just left it 7 hours ago.  It was merely $8.  I’m obviously the fiscally responsible spouse. 

We drive to the Inner Harbor and pass hotel upon hotel, and finally decide on a Marriott- no way we were driving an hour home- this is a vacation.  Our only option for parking was to pay the valet $28 plus tip.  Matt smirked with all of his total omniscience, and I bowed to his genius.  I let Matt choose dinner, he is Jack’s all-knowing brain.  Phillips Seafood it was- we walked off into the 70 degree February night in Baltimore for our first night of vacation… 

 We were sure to order our adult beverages with souvenir glasses, it can’t get much better than that

I took the NCLEX today and I want to vomit.  That’s all, more later after I have officially failed.  Oh, and I started smoking like a chimney again. 

Well.  I hate to put it that way.  But they happen to be resolutions that fall around the New Year.

I have taken steps toward quitting smoking.  But, for real this time.  On January 2nd, I bought a pack of smokes, and hid them at the store.  I only took two with me.  Since then, I have had 2 smokes a day and my body is becoming less and less dependant.  I can tell because on days 1, 2, and 3 I thought about it nonstop.  But, now, I only have a passing craving maybe once every couple of hours.  Matt and I went for a walk yesterday, and I didn’t think about a cigarette for almost 2 hours after the walk.  What’s even better is that, when I do smoke, it’s not that great. Kind of “eh, coulda done without that”…… But, I don’t want to kill anyone, so I’m doing it this way.  After this pack is gone in a few days, I’ll buy another and continue with two a day until that pack is gone, and then I’ll go down to one a day for 20 days, and then quit!

A perk that has come with quitting smoking is the need to stay busy to ward off thoughts of smoking.    Besides keeping my house clean, I’m preparing myself the golden 30s.  So, today, I went for an long walk at a pretty good clip.  Matt and I walked almost three miles yesterday, and I think I did three today.  I really like walking, I know that I’ll never be a runner- I have bad knees.  I did this for 3 weeks last summer, almost every day, but it only lasted 3 weeks, I’m going to go forever now (smirk).   I also don’t want to get out of shape, which seems to happen more frequently now that I’m almost 30.  Usually, I just starve myself until the weight goes away and then I feel better.  I am just playing in case that freaked you out.  But, anyway, I have to stay in shape for my hunka-hunka.  Matt is preparing to run a marathon.  I think he’s a little extreme, but I guess he’s really excited so, good for him.  I hope he still has energy to cook me dinner every night :) 

I finally finished school last week and graduated!  It is sooooo over (for now).  It is somewhat surreal, because essentially for the last 25 years I have been in school or been planning on being in school or been dreading school, and now it’s just over, kind of anti-climactic actually.  I attended my pinning ceremony Thursday, December 13, with 100 other aspiring nurses.  I’ve been in school with these people for the last 4 semesters and known them intimately (seriously- the apex of the heart is at the midclavicular line, 5th intercostal space- you try learning heart sounds without being intimate) and now I’ll probably only see a handful of them ever again.  I guess that is the revolving door of life (how philosophic of me).

I have to say that I know more now that I’m finished nursing school than I did when I started, but it’s still pretty scary to think that I’ll be providing care to people whose bodies are calling it quits.  Waiting tables for the last 5 years at the same restaurant, I pretty much know everything there is to know about waiting tables there (I even offer relish to customers ordering hot dogs to spice things up), and even after a 3 month hiatus, I went into auto-mode and took an entire order in server shorthand, recited the salad dressings perfectly, asked all the pertinent questions and made recommendations for an upsale (would you prefer onion rings as a substitute for french fries? only $1!!) all before I even realized that I was standing at a table.  

But now, becoming a nurse offers me with the possibility of not EVER knowing everything about my job, and that is so great!!!  Of course, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t aspire to know everything~  I’m starting at Sinai hospital in Baltimore on the Coronary Care Unit, which is an intensive care unit for cardiac patients.  Hopefully, after a few years, I will indeed know close to a lot about the cardiovascular system, but hey~ medical advancements are always being made, so there is always something to learn.  In short, my education will never really be over, and I’m so excited about that :) 

nothing. I have had little to no work with school, but I am still managing to fill my time with meaningless nonsense.  It’s so fun!  Went to the Skins game tonight with my lover (which I generally boycott in leiu of watching with my pops).  It was really freakin’ cold, I mean bitter freezingness.  We had a blast, probably because they won.  The shuttle bus was interesting.  Why is it that people don’t get the concept of “this is my bubble, get out of my bubble”?  The poor guy sitting next to me kept getting assaulted by a drunk mother-daughter duo, who undoubtedly shared some crack before boarding the bus.

I graduate in 7 days, and finish my last exam in 5, and I think I’ve settled on a job at Sinai hospital in B-more which I am very excited about.  I’ll write more on that decision later.  Luckily, I have a little over 2 months to continue filling my life with ridiculous facebook quizzes and Washington Post crosswords.  I also took up crocheting this week and made 5 scarves, of which only 2 are the appropriate size and shape.

Also went to din-din this weekend with my Matthew at Olney Ale House.  What is it about me that attracts poor service?  I think I’m nice and I do tip well, but I inevitably receive my entree within two minutes of my appetizer and this time the server just completely disregarded my salad.  Is is too much to refill an iced tea?  Come on!!!

I am working again at HT (delivering stellar customer satifaction), but plan on taking off the next three weeks to continue my newest hobbies.  I’m so excited!!!!

My friend Dan and I were researching PEEP (positive expiratory end pressure) which is a ventilator setting.  Anyway, Dan does very scientific research by looking everything up in wikipedia or on ask.com, so we ran across this site…. http://www.peepresearch.org/ .  Make sure to navigate the website, there are some fun facts. 

Apparently, there are scientists out of work somewhere with too much time on their hands.  You have to love the curiosity though. 

I think that curiosity is my favorite human attribute.  For instance, Matt and I were watching a movie tonight, “Live Free or Die Hard”.  We were about 7 minutes from the end credits, when out of no where, he changed the from DVD mode to TV mode without pausing so that he could catch a glimpse of the score for the Patriots/Eagles game.  That is just laughable.  No ill intent, just pure curiosity at its best.  Fabulous.

Ok, the following is a glimpse into 20 hum-drum* minutes of my life.  So, begins my thought process… upon reading Jon’s request for the worst Christmas Carols, I found myself requiring a shower before starting my movie.  Once in the shower, I began singing (you know you sing too) (maybe) “Jingle Bells” and I have rules about shower singing.  If a song pops in my head, I sing it.  Often times, I know only one line and sometimes, only one word, so I search my mind for the next song.  “American Music” by Violent Femmes was up next.  Of course, the progression goes to “Gimme the Car” and then I am so not on Christmas Carols, so I digress* back to “Silent Night” which is one of my favorites that I frequently sing in the shower even in May (it pops in a lot).  I began to ponder Jon’s blog about songs that glorify Jesus during the Christmas season, and “Away in the Manger” comes to mind, “….no sheep for a veil”.  Yeah, I know the words, just not right now.  So, I search for a seasonal song that I may know the words to…. “Grandma got ran over by a reindeer, comin’ home from our house Christmas Eve, you might think there’s no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe”.  How’s that for outstanding Christmas music?  By this time, I’m in my PJs doing laundry in the basement.    I had taken a prego test earlier, and wonder, “What does it mean when their are no lines?”  (I actually thought about this) Do I not exist?  Apparently, it means that I paid $8 for a dud prego test, but that does not satisfy me.  Does every woman read the directions in detail before actually taking a test?  What percentage I wonder?  The heat coming off of the dryer reminds me to hang dry my jeans, because the fact that I have to lie down to put my jeans on has been of some concern to me recently.  It couldn’t possibly be that my ass behind is getting enormous, it must be that the jeans that have fit me for the last 2 years are now beginning to shrink in the dryer.  In my neverending battle to become more Christ-like, I’m trying not to use curse words anymore, but they still pop in my head.  I stop and actually think, “What would Jesus say instead of “ass”?”  And my mind rattles off 4 or 5 words including rearend,  heinie, and toches, but then, why would he ever even refer to his bum, he’s a man.  Men don’t refer to their backside, they have no need to.  It doesn’t expand and change shapes monthly. This is why my blog is named “Whirlwind of Frenzy”, I have a neverending dialog with myself, maybe I need an antipsychotic, but where would the fun be in that?

*I frequently use words inappropriately or out of context, but it’s ok with me if it’s ok with you.